


This Is Me

by Anonymous



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Autistic Character, Autistic Lee Seung-Gil, Emotional support animal, M/M, Supportive Phichit, technically finished but could be continued, this is mostly a rant fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Seung-Gil wants to express his feelings somehow, so he takes a page from his boyfriend’s book and makes an anonymous blog to share his emotions around his autistic life.
Relationships: Phichit Chulanont/Lee Seung Gil
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17
Collections: Anonymous Fics





	This Is Me

Seung-Gil took a shaky breath as he glanced at his laptop. He nervously toyed with his lip between his teeth, hands tangled together as he looked over his post. Phichit said getting it out there would help? He took another breath and mumbled what he had written under his breath to check his final wording. 

“You don’t know me, but many people seem to want to speak for me. I’m leaving this anonymous to protect myself from backlash in my personal life, but I’m autistic. My partner helped me come to this realization a few years ago and I’ve recently become very frustrated with not being able to voice my views on something that effects my entire life without getting backlash from those who do not really get it.

“Why is it that people thing I’m normal just because I’m smart and can function day to day ‘normally’? I have bad days. Sometimes things are just too much. My job is loud. There’s a lot of people who know me and the endless strangers calling at me can be so overwhelming. 

“I feel lucky that my partner understands and accepts me, but I still don’t feel like I can be myself around him because of the persona I have to have in public. They met that persona, so sometimes I wonder if they really could love me without it.

“I’ve been assured by them multiple times I can be myself and I’m opening up. This is a step in opening up. 

“Something the other day that I heard struck me as wrong. Somebody referring to autistic people as people with autism. It made me angry. Like they were treating something I can’t get rid of like a bag I could toss aside if I so desired.

“I hated it. It made me so angry. I cried in front of my partner for the first time in a long time when I heard it. This is only the first of many posts on this blog I suppose... 

“Let me know what you’d like to know? This blog is wholly me. I’m still learning about this and how to handle myself, but this is me.”

He sighed and hit post after plugging in the hashtags Phichit had recommended he use. He felt his throat tighten a bit and he rocked himself slightly. What if this was a mistake? He rubbed his hands up and down his legs. What if people make connections to him? Tears threaten to fall as he continues to fear and doubt. 

He blinked when a nose nudged his hand. He looked down to see his Husky. His emotional support animal. His beautiful girl who he raised from a puppy. He leaned back a bit and she made herself at home between his legs. 

Seung-Gil kept his hands busy petting her as he slowly calmed down. Maybe... this would be good for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this anonymously because I don’t come out about my diagnosis much. It gets a lot of backlash. I wrote this on my phone in the car so it may suck, but I just needed to get it out. Let me know if you want more.


End file.
